The Great Unless

Uneasy autumn Lines of rigid ash Along darkened roads Smoke chokes the air Of the only home I’ve known It seems as if the sun Is vacationing somewhere Uneasy autumn in a burning world Uneasy autumn A stranger in this place Seasonal pleasures of cider and leaves Are replaced by shivers of fear As we begin to say goodbye To the home we held so dear A dark blanket unfurled in an Uneasy autumn in a burning world Uneasy autumn Even the sea is enraged Waves whipping ashore Like a beast freed from a cage Homes lost to the depths Or vanished in the smoke Even the air becomes an enemy during an Uneasy autumn in a burning world

It has been a rough ride, has it not? Most of us are likely still shaken by the events in Charlottesville this past weekend. I've done quite a bit of reflection and self-analysis the past few days. As a white woman from a middle-class family, I recognize my privilege. I do not worry about the safety of my daughters should they have an encounter with the police. I do not worry about them being targeted for the color of their skin. What I do worry about is my own "white guilt" and the tendency of us white folk to take over spaces and conversations as a result of that guilt – and, even worse, not really contributing much when we are present. I worry about the lack of time I have to really hone in on this issue as I use my privilege to fight for environmental issues. But mostly, I worry about the fate of our planet and our society. I worry that there is SO MUCH work to be done on racial issues in this world we live in. And I have pledged to do more as a white woman and a

I've been hiding from reality - unsuccessfully - for much too long. It turns out that the world doesn't get better just because you try and block out all of the horror. The runaway environmental disaster, the economic fallacy, the human-caused devastation of war - none of this goes away when you stop looking. It just builds and builds until you can't hide from it anymore and then it slaps you in the face hundreds of times over when you finally open your eyes. I'll be honest - I'm tired. I've only been in this fight for a little over a decade and I'm damned exhausted. I don't understand how those who have had their eyes open - those who have lived decades upon decades completely woke on every level - do it day in and day out. Their strength and stamina is a miracle to me. One I am desperately trying to emulate in my own life. So I am struggling back up out of this funk and reawakening to reality. This fight is hard. So. So. So. Hard. And I come from a

I have been thinking often lately of the incredible people I am surrounded by in this work that I do. I have had a small handful of amazing friendships over the years, but there is something about a common cause that can bring people together in a way that is unique and soul-changing. When I started this journey of climate advocacy, it was mostly a lonely path. I would meet people at conferences or meetings and would then continue on my own, trying the best I could to make a difference in my own life. But jumping into this work with both feet, with my entire being, not only changed my perspective, it changed my community. While the work that I do is exhausting, often unfruitful, and at times depressing, the family I have gained along the way is incredible, uplifting, and worth every sleepless night. And that's what they are to me, these fellow Earth Warriors. Family. The bond I feel with them goes beyond mere friendship. Being joined together in a fight for the very future of h

As a Hoosier, I once felt like I had no company in Indiana when it came to the climate crisis. Living in a small-town/rural setting left me feeling that there were few others who understood the severity of the times we are living in, much less were as passionate about this most pressing of all issues as I am. I had friends who "got" it in a way, but they were all able to remove themselves from the crisis mode I find myself living in day in and day out. (Honestly, I have long been jealous of the ability of others to shut out the horror and just focus on living their lives.) Unfortunately, I am not able to "turn off" my awareness - and I thought that perhaps I was the only one who constantly felt this overwhelming weight. Turns out, I am far from alone in my quest to "save the world" in Indiana. And, honestly, I was far from being the only small-town/rural Hoosier who have these feelings, too. In fact, now that my work revolves around environmental adv

It is a big week in the Indiana General Assembly for the future of renewable energy. Senate Bill 309, the anti-rooftop solar bill, is being voted on in the House Utilities committee after passing through the Senate with flying colors a few weeks ago, despite an outpouring of opposition from citizens. There is no doubt that this terrible bill is a tipping point for Indiana's energy future. SB 309 would essentially kill net metering in Indiana, the process by which customers who generate their own electricity through the use of solar panels or other renewables are able to feed the excess electricity that they generate back to the grid and receive fair credits for their contribution to the system. SB 309 will end the net metering process after a tiered grandfathering process. This would severely undercut the growth of solar energy in Indiana. In a state that still gets over 70% of its electricity from coal, solar energy provides essentially zero risk to utilities. However, per u

It was an unusually dark week for me. A rollercoaster of emotion and activity. It was the kind of week that takes your breath away, forcefully blows air back into your lungs, and then knocks the wind right back out again. I won't get into all the details of what my week consisted of; suffice it to say that the work I do can be grueling, brutally exhausting, and - occasionally - incredibly rewarding (hence why I persist). And this week tested me in ways I had not been tested in quite some time. I suffer from anxiety and panic disorder (with some mild depression mixed in; you know, just to keep things even more fun). My anxiety is most often rooted in the climate crisis and the devastation we are wreaking on this planet upon which we live. This makes it an impossibility for me to ever "get over" the trauma that I feel daily. And I am slowly learning more about this constant state of panic and guilt and anger and grief that I live with because I finally - after two decad

A few of the tipis at the Oceti Oyate camp. Photo taken by my friend Joshua Taflinger Today they come for the Water Protectors. They are coming for those who are standing up for their rights, their land, their water – and for us all. They are going to try to forcibly remove Native Americans from their ancestral lands again. Will this never end? The Standing Rock Sioux have endured more than I can possibly imagine – more than most people can even comprehend. And they are being asked to endure even more. I wish I could be there, to stand alongside them. I know many who are or who have been and they all return changed in a way. They have stood alongside the bravest, most terrorized, most marginalized, strongest people that have ever walked this land; and that experience opens their mind and spirit in ways that I can only hope to one day experience. The Lakota and their allies are fighting to protect water, land, and, indeed, the climate for everyone. And th

(Backstory: This piece was written when news first broke that Exxon had been feeding us misinformation for decades regarding climate change in order to pad their own pockets and protect their own interests. I was filled with rage...and I still am.) I am in mourning For all that should have been And all that can now never be. They knew. Like wicked demons prowling on innocents; They knew the risk they took, The future they would wrought, And they did it anyway With hushed meetings, Disingenuous campaigns of fiction, And stacks of money – They gambled away our future. My future. Your future. Our children’s future. Like so many nickels in a machine That only pays out to them And only in the short-term. For even they will feel these effects, The tumbling down of this house of cards, This fragile existence based on lies And finite materials. They were too busy Squandering away precious time And resources And lives To realize what they

A view from Google of our homestead (near center) growing up. I grew up on a country road surrounded by cornfields.   Life was pretty simple as a child: playing in our large yard; getting together with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents weekly; enjoying the creek that ran out back of my grandpa’s farm; mushrooming in the surrounding woods; or just playing basketball from dawn to dusk with friends in the tiny town where my aunt took care of my sister and I every day during the summer. It’s amazing how life transforms us; how everything changes but yet so much remains the same… I would describe most of my extended family as very conservative in their political views and lifestyle (though my parents were never very political), and growing up I adhered to those same ideals and values.   I would argue vehemently with anyone who challenged my perspective (well...that hasn't changed).    I was completely pro-death penalty, pro-gun, anti-welfare, and pro-profit.